A Birth!
by Jam.MastahXJay
Summary: For Minyonka! Yeah, randomness occurs when Minyonka goes into labor. *insert dramatic music here*


JJ looked around.

"Where the hell is that guy?" she muttered. Then, a short boy came out of a bathroom, wearing only a towel. JJ groaned. "GET DECENT, DAMMIT!!"

"What?! I took a freaking shower! I can't do that?!" he yelled.

"No! Mainly 'cause you never take a shower or a bath on the show! Now get your scrawny ass in a room and look decent, for Zeus sakes! Damn, Hiei..." He stuck his tongue out at her and left. The phone rang.

"Ay yo, Fox! Answer that!" JJ commanded.

"Why?"

"You're pushing it!" Kurama answered the phone. JJ started whistling.

"OH GOD!!" JJ stopped whistling and sighed.

"What is it now, Kurama?" she asked. Hiei's head poked out of the bathroom, and JJ threw a pillow at him. He growled. "You don't scare me, bitch." He went back into the bathroom. Kurama came running out of a room. He looked like hell.

"JJ! Minyonka! Kid! Now!"

"OK... What?!"

"LISTEN TO M-"

"I got the video camera! Let's go!" Rinku yelled, running out the door with a video camera. JJ looked at hin and Kurama funny.

"Umm... What's happening?" Botan ran out of a room and grabbed JJ's wrist, running outside.

"Botan! Wait for me!" Kurama yelled, running after her. They scrambled into the car. JJ started kicking her legs.

"I can file a missing person's report!" she said, kicking Kurama in the face.

"How?!"

"I'm magical!" she snapped. Botan tried to start the car, but it didn't work. JJ's eye twitched. She pushed her into the passenger seat and she jumped in the driver's seat.

"You put this in neutral?! _Idiota!_" JJ yelled, putting the car into reverse and backing out. "Anyway, where the hell are we goin'?"

"The hospital!"

"Why?"

"Minyonka!"

"Something happening?" Everyone in the car smacked her head. "Uh... Ow."

"OK, she's nine months pregnant," Botan started, sounding annoyed.

"Yeah? And?" Everyone glared at her. JJ glared back. "You guys are real idiots if you think I'd remember something important."

"True..." Kurama muttered. JJ punched his head.

"KEEP YOUR DAMN EYES ON THE ROAD!!" Botan screamed. JJ glanced at her.

"... Huh?"

"DAMMIT, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!" Rinku said, pulling his knees to his face and crying into them.

"No, we aren't," JJ stated calmly. "I've been driving since I was in third grade. Why do you think I know what I'm doing? I ain't a wizard."

"You just- I know what I said, you idiots," JJ said, cutting off the two cosplayers. "Hey, can I ask something?" They nodded. "Where are we goin' again?"

...

"JJ! Where the hell is she?" Hiei asked himself, very annoyed.

"She at the hospital." Hiei turned and narrowed his eyes. It was JJ's grandma, Mi-mama.

"Why? Did she finally realize she needed a brain?" Mi-mama slapped him.

"No! I was eavesdropping on the girly-boy, Kurama, and I heard a doctor yell at him, 'Minyonka's in labor!' I just-" Hiei ran away, wearing his trademark cloak.

...

"AY!! WATCH DA ROAD, JJ!!" a man with curly black hair yelled in a Jamaican accent. JJ swerved to a right, missing him.

"Sorry!" JJ said, screeching to a stop when they reached the hospital lot. Everyone blinked as JJ walked out of the car and into the building.

"Umm... Let's go," Rinku said, turning on the video camera. He put it to his face. "Now, we run to the hospital room. OOF!!" He was on the ground. He had bumped into a wall. "And I just fell on the way to the birthing room." Kurama carried him as him and Botan ran into the hospital.

...

"SPIRIT BOY!!" Hiei yelled, kicking Yusuke, who was passed out on the ground outside. He looked up at the short 'man'.

"Hmm?"

"Take me to the hospital!"

"Why?"

"Do it." Yusuke jumped up.

"Kuwabara! C'mon!" Kuwabara ran out from the forest.

"Yeah?"

"Let's go!" Kuwabara threw Hiei on his shoulder, much to his dismay.

"LEMME DOWN!!" he screamed. Yusuke ran to a random guy on the street.

"Where's the hospital?!" The guy shrugged.

"Wrong guy to ask." They groaned and left. "Heh, wrong way!"

...

JJ ran into a random birthing room, where she heard screaming.

"Ow."

"Oi!" JJ's eyes widened and she turned.

"Jin? Yukina? What're you guys doing here?"

"We're tryin' to find Minyonka!" Jin exclaimed.

"WHERE THE HELL IS HIEI?!" JJ blinked.

"Think I found her." She followed the screams and found Minyonka on a cot. Rinku came running in, away from Kurama. JJ grabbed the video camera from him and did a close-up on Minyonka's face.

"GET THAT OUTTA MY FACE!!" she yelled, looking straight into the camera. JJ snickered.

"Hope you know this is why people hate me." Botan grabbed the video camera from JJ and hid it in her purse. JJ blinked and snatched Botan's purse. She took out a random thing. It looked like a long, purple, squishy thing.

"Hey, what's this?" Botan blushed a dark red and snatched her purse back.

"Nothing you should know about!"

"Tisk, tisk, tisk. I outta know- Gimme your hand!" JJ looked back at the very soon-to-be mom.

"Hmm?" She held out her hand caustiously. Minyonka grabbed it and squeezed it hard. JJ blinked. Kurama ran in, and he fainted. JJ and Minyonka didn't acknowledge him.

"Hey! I- Oooh..." Kuwabara was at the door, and _he _fainted.

"Kuwabara! What's- Ohh..." Yusuke fell right on Kuwabara. Rinku blinked.

"I don't get it. Why are they- ... Ohhh..." Rinku fainted. JJ's eye twitched.

"Why _are _they fainting? It's annoying." Minyonka grabbed JJ's collar and brought her face-to-face with her.

"Where the hell is Hiei?"

"Hell if I know. If I remember correctly, I told him to get his scrawny ass back into the bathroom and to make himself look decent."

"Is this really the only time you'll actually remember correctly?" Hiei asked, standing at the doorway.

"Yes, it is! I- HIEI!! WHAT THE FUCK?!" Hiei covered his ears when Minyonka screamed at him.

"What?!" JJ sighed.

"Both of you, don't even think about arguing! This is supposed to be a special moment- YOU WUSSY!!" Hiei screamed, cutting off JJ.

"YOU'RE GONNA BE LYING ON YOUR BACK IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE HELL UP!!" she snapped.

"BITCH!!" She growled lowly and grabbed Botan's purse from her. She took out a whole bunch of things that should not be mentioned, and then the video camera.

"Hiei, record us from that angle," JJ instructed. Hiei stuck his tongue out and did what she said.

"From this- Oh Enma." He fainted, the camera still recording. Minyonka looked at him.

"THANKS ALOT, HIEI!!" Minyonka screamed and squeezed JJ's hand again.

"How far apart is her contractions, Rick?!" JJ yelled, glaring at a male nurse.

"About..."

"C'MON!!"

"About five minutes!" JJ sighed with relief. Minyonka kept squeezing her hand, so hard, in fact, that her nails started to dig into JJ's palm. JJ looked casually down at the mom.

"Umm... Hope you know that this won't hurt me," she said. "Oh... AND BREATHE, DAMMIT!!" Her breaths were short and choppy.

"Hey JJ, didja drive here?" Rick asked, leaning against the wall.

"Yeah. You won't believe how loud that a man can scream."

"Oh, I know." JJ and Minyonka exchanged glances.

"Umm... No comment," JJ said. Rick had a painful expression on his face when he stared at JJ's hand.

"Doesn't that hurt?"

"Nope!" JJ smiled. Rick sighed. Hiei stood up, a little shaky, and he glared at JJ. "Finally! My hand fucking hurts!" JJ made Hiei hold Minyonka's hand and she grabbed the video camera.

"OWW!!" Hiei screamed when Minyonka squeezed his hands. JJ sighed happily.

"Ahh, to be a parent." She taped the birthing. A female nurse came running to Minyonka's side. She stroked her hair.

"C'mon, push honey!" JJ took out her cell phone and a ringtone came up.

Ah, push it - push it good

Ah, push it - push it real good

Ah, push it - push it good

Ah, push it - p-push it real good

The female nurse scowled at JJ, who started dancing in sync to the song.

"C'mon! Push it!" JJ yelled.

(Nine hours later)

Hiei was on the ground again, his left hand being wrapped up. He claimed it was broken... Pansy.

"Oh my godess! You have such a cute baby!" JJ cooed. The baby (A/N I don't refer to a baby as an 'it') was a girl, and her name was Kayo. Jin walked in.

"Yay! My cousin, the baby is a success!" he exclaimed, playing with the baby.

"Minyonka, she has your eyes!" Yukina said, smiling at Kayo.

"I wanna eat her!" JJ smacked Botan upside the head.

"Don't say that, you cannibal!"

"It's an expression!"

"- That cannibals use! And I love the fact she has black hair," JJ commented. She got away from Minyonka and knelt down next to Kuwabara, Rinku, and Yusuke, who were still passed out. She took out some smelling salts and puts them over their noses. They sniffed and started to gag.

"Enma, that's sick!" Rinku said, holding his neck as if he were choking.

"Pansies, Minyonka's done with the birthing. Check out Kayo!" JJ left them to stand and walk to the bed. They immediately started cooing at Kayo. Then, Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto, Gaara, and Deidara came in.

"What the fuck took you guys?!" JJ asked, a bit angry, but pushed them towards Minyonka and her and Hiei's kid.

"Aww! Nii-chan! I'm an uncle!" Naruto said, smiling. Sasuke grunted. Hiei and JJ smacked him as Minyonka kicked him in the worm.

"I'm so glad that boy Karin isn't here. He's annoying," Minyonka said, holding Kayo. "Here Hiei, hold onto your child." JJ took out the video camera and recorded it.

"Hiei, I must be high when I'm saying this, but... I must admit, you make a great father," JJ said, doing a close-up on his face.

"Aww," Yukina said softly, standing next to Hiei. Everyone turned their attention towards Hiei. JJ sat in the chair next to Minyonka and did a close-up on her.

"So Mom, how are you doin'?" JJ asked. Minyonka sighed and fell asleep. JJ blinked. "Ahh, who cares? As long as her and Kayo are alive, then all's well."

(Six months later)

Minyonka and the Naruto gang were at JJ's house, playing with (as JJ refers Kayo as 'Baby Kayo') Baby Kayo. The YYH gang were all happy (Even Hiei). Sasuke and Karin were the only ones that weren't there.

"Hey JJ, where're Karin and Sasuke?" Minyonka asked the thirteen year old, letting Naruto hold Baby Kayo. JJ smirked.

"Oh, they didn't wanna come."

(At JJ's old school)

"DAMMIT JJ!! GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!!" Sasuke screamed. He was tied to a high tree branch, and little kids were throwing tomatoes and water balloons at him.

"JJ!! I'LL KILL YOU!!" Karin yelled. She was tied on the back to a man or woman, nobody but JJ could tell which gender this person was, and the he/she was eating burritos.

(Back at the house)

Minyonka sighed and gave JJ a playful look. JJ nodded, hiding her smile.

"Guys, I have some important news," Minyonka said in a firm voice. Everyone looked at her. She smiled. "I'm pregnant again!" JJ was recording this, and everyone fainted. She and JJ started laughing.

"Just kidding!"

* * *

Yeah, I had to end it on something! This was for Minyonka, or Fireyoukaigirl. Like most people who read some of my short stories, I do take requests. And now, I'm tired. I'm gonna go and drink more coffee. (And yes, I really do know how to drive)


End file.
